This photo, taken recently, is a favorite precisely because I was startled at the beauty of the bloom. I generally find cacti ugly, horrible little plants. They are designed to take in water and air while keeping everything else away. It is easy to be injured if you are not careful where you tread. Hiking boots and thick socks are a layer of protection. Spines make quick work of bare feet and flimsy sandals. How can a plant so shockingly aggressive produce such beautiful blooms? People, like cacti, are often prickly and aggressive. Yet others are beautiful and blossoming despite their harsh circumstances.

Lately, we have had a front row seat to encounters with prickly, horrible, ugly humans. My husband and I were recently wandering down the street in Rapid City enjoying the sculptures on each corner. It was a lovely morning. I saw an Uber pull over to let out the passengers. A pick up truck pulled up behind and began to honk. Although there was an adjacent open lane the truck could have easily moved into, the driver began to yell at the cab to move. The man getting out of the car waved and said, “It’s an Uber.” The truck then whipped around the Uber, pulled in front and threatened to get out and beat some manners into them for stopping in the lane he was in. The passenger said again, “I can’t control where the Uber let me out” and turned away. Truck driver turned red and got out of the truck yelling. A women and another very large man got out of the Uber. The larger man bulked up and indicated he would go take care of the rude driver. The women urged her male companions to walk away, saying “it is not worth it. Whatever he is upset about has nothing to do with you.” Luckily, the passengers had cool heads and walked away from a ranting and raging stranger. My husband and I were startled and unsure of what just happened. Confronted with a prickly and ugly stance, but pleased to see the beauty of calmer heads.

This past weekend, we ventured to Lowe’s to buy a new microwave. We needed some assistance before we made the purchase and got in line. While we waited for the salesperson to find our account, a woman walked in and pushed past me. She stepped in front of my husband and pushed our cart aside. When the sales clerk continued to assist us, the woman stomped and pushed past us. She went around to the side counter and demanded to see a manager. The manager was called and before he could get to the counter she was yelling. Red of face, she said “you people need to get you act together. I called and no one answered the phone.” The manager tried to ask a question but she continued to yell, “you have horrible service…I decided to drive over to see how busy you were and why you couldn’t answer my call. Get a different phone system. You are incompetent!” The manager said, “How can I best help you?” She snarled, “You can’t. I’ll take my business elsewhere. I just came in to make a point”and stomped out. Prickly…ugly….hard to watch. And yet the unruffled staff, continued to provide us excellent and polite service, despite the disruption.

As my husband and I processed what we just witnessed, we recalled an incident that happened some years back. We were in a Wendy’s having lunch when a man came storming in with a to go bad in his hand. He threw it on the counter and said he had just come in from the drive through. He yelled at the server that they didn’t make his sandwich correctly, that the meat wasn’t in the center of the bun. He said he refused to eat it until they remade it to his precise specifications of meat placement. We didn’t know whether to laugh or be very concerned at the amount of rage caused by a crooked bun. Sharp, off putting, and hard to listen to.

I think of those instances, and I wonder. Does the thorny, ugly, harshness of individuals come from lack of nourishment? Is it an environmental response, an adaptation like the cactus?Are people so starved for positive interactions that they lash out? Is there hope of a blossom? Can we effect societal change to instead produce blossoms? Do blossoms and spines always go together? Is the solution to get tougher skin and to protect ourselves with barriers or to provide more nourishment in the hope of producing blooms? It seems to me that humanity requires grace, just as cactus blossoms require water.

Beauty and grace. Ugliness and aggression. I guess each human, like each cactus, is unique. I just hope when people look at me, they see more blooms than prickly spines. I’ll keep working on it and hope that you will as well.