Ever feel like you don’t quite fit in? That the rest of the world has a mold for human expectation and you don’t quite make the dimensional requirements? I think we all feel that way from time to time. When I hear the phrase, “Most people…” I cringe. It is offered up as an indictment that everyone else agrees on a behavior or preference and you don’t quite make the cut. “Most people wouldn’t eat that.” “Most people love chocolate.” “Most girls like to play with make up.” Slowly, I came to realize that I am not most people. I am me.

Early in life I began to notice differences. I loved to read in an age when watching television was the height of social interaction. My parents would make me come out of my room and watch TV with the family. On several occasions, I had elementary teachers object to my choice of reading material. They would hand me picture books, when I had been reading novels for years, and tell me that whatever they had picked was more appropriate for children. “Most children” did not read biographies and historical fiction from the main section of the library. Luckily, my parents were supportive of my desire to read. I tried to return the favor to our son. He loved to read science journals. His teachers would try to redirect him to picture books. He came home one day and said, “Butterflies and snow men, mommy. That is all they ever want to talk about. They want me to read about nonsense. I am not interested in talking rabbits. Why won’t they let me read what I like?” I had to make a few trips to school to help navigate the waters of “Most children.”

“Most women” and “most men” are also challenging concepts. As a young girl, I didn’t want to stay in and help with the dishes. I wanted to be outside stacking wood. I wanted to explore the outdoors, and pursue knowledge. Gender stereotypes were hard. A college professor once scheduled a meeting to tell me that I had the highest grade in the class and that I should think about getting lower grades because no one would want to marry me if I continued to out perform my male colleagues. “Most men” apparently don’t like smart women.

I’ve watched my husband navigate the waters of “Most men”. Apparently, they like to hunt and fish. He doesn’t. They like to do yard work. He doesn’t. They work on cars. He doesn’t. They like sports. Well, at least he has that going for him. …

I don’t like chocolate or gummy candies which can be easily found in every convenience store. I love Necco wafers which are increasingly hard to find. I don’t like meat. I like vegetables, especially spinach. This makes eating in a fast food restaurant a challenge. I don’t own tennis shoes because they hurt my feet. I prefer to wear high heel shoes and hiking boots. Supply chains that provide only what “Most people” buy are horrible for me. I don’t want and endless supply of yoga pants or mass produced fads. It seems that “most people” don’t share my tastes in food or apparel. Thank goodness for thrift stores and farmers markets. I find that I often cherish things that “most people” don’t want.

Over time, I have learned to embrace the notion that I am not “Most people”. I have come to appreciate that people are unique and that is what makes them wonderful. It is freeing to know that you can enjoy all the little things that bring you happiness without worrying about whether or not “Most people” also approve. So I comb resale shops to find the quirky items that speak to me. I wear dresses and fabulous shoes even though it is Tuesday and I’m only going to the grocery store. I sit in the park and read a book. I wear a headscarf covered in sea turtles into the woods to keep the spiders out of my hair because I inevitably will walk into a spider web…..and sea turtles make me happy. I am me, and it feels great. Now if I could only find a restaurant that sells gooseberry pie. It’s my favorite, but apparently not “most people’s”.