It started out as a simple hiking trip, just a few days with a friend to explore a highly rated woodland trail. Nature had other plans. Reviewing the forecast as we packed, we decided that two days on the the at temperatures well over 100 with high humidity was probably not smart. So we decided to drive North instead. We found a lovely state park with a lake for kayaking and trails for hiking. Best of all, the temperature would stay below 90 degrees.

She arrived first and began scouting a campsite. 1000 Hills state park got its name for a reason. Finding any level ground to pitch a tent was a challenge. It had been very dry and so it was hard to get stakes in the ground. I pitched my tent closer to the woods in order to give her the more level and higher ground.

We set a functional camp and had an awesome meal of chicken shawarma cooked over the campfire. There is not much better than a meal cooked over the flames of a fire. If your friend is a chef, using a recipe you love, it is heaven.

Pleased with the camp, the meal, and the weather, we took a twilight walk. Upon return to camp, we noticed we had visitors. Raccoons had stolen our remaining dinner drinks and some some produce from the table.

Raccoons are crafty creatures, but as experienced campers, we made sure the food was tightly sealed and secured in our cars. We removed the trash to a provided and secure bin away from the camp. We carefully stacked our outdoor gear under the table and covered it with a tarp.

I watched the fire for awhile and enjoyed the sounds of the eastern whippoorwill. A common sound from my childhood, whippoorwills are harder to find these days. Hearing them brought back wonderful memories. Feeling relaxed and happy, I went to bed with dreams of the next day’s hike.

Sleep, however, was elusive. I worked to find a way to make the sloping ground work with my body. It is not often that I sleep on the ground anymore. I hadn’t used the backpacking tent in several years and only realized that the fly cover was missing after I set up the tent. I wasn’t worried and was secretly pleased that I had an open view of the stars.

I was admiring the trees through my tent top when the noise started. Banging and crashing sounded like a band of children playing with pots and pans. I got up to find three juvenile raccoons ransacking our gear. They were rifling through our empty coffee pot and grill basket. They had knocked over the stacked firewood and tossed the citronella candle off the table.

After shooing them away, I went back to my tent. About an hour later, I awoke to scratching and sniffing around my tent. I lay quietly trying to determine what was a few inches from my head on the other side of the thin layer of nylon. After hearing the telltale raccoon “giggle”(a high pitched gurgling sound), I raised onto my knees and aimed the cellphone light into their eyes and whispered as loudly as I could, “go away”. After a few slaps to the side of the tent, I heard the band of thieves shuffle into the woods.

About an hour later, I heard the gang return with reinforcements. I climbed out of the tent to find five raccoons. They were hanging from the post trying to knock down our empty trash can. They had carried our water cooler to the woods and unscrewed the lid, wasting all of our washing water. I chased off the wild bunch, secured the gear a little tighter and went back to bed.

Shortly after going to sleep, I heard loud grunting next to my tent and smelled the unmistakable smell of hog. I didn’t move. Wild hogs can be very dangerous. Laying as still as possible, I listened to rustling and shuffling. The critter wandered off and I drifted back to sleep. I’m not sure in what order.

In the next hour, I awoke to more crashing. This time a larger raccoon was attempting to drag a case of canned water to the woods. It was too much for him and the raccoons were becoming to much for me. I decided that they could take everything and that I was not getting up again. In a spirit of defiance, I walked to the bathroom in the dark while dreaming of my bedroll.

True to my word, I did not leave my tent again. Despite rustles and banging, I resisted and dozed in an out of sleep. I heard owls and coyotes. Once I heard deer walking by on mostly silent feet, a gentle rustle at the foot of the tent.

About 3am, I awoke to the sound of someone opening the car door. Except the noise of the handles moving didn’t stop. Someone was trying all the handles. Someone was breaking into the car. I jumped up and used my cell phone light to shine on the cars. There was no one there. I felt silly. It had been too long since I had been in a tent. Every little noise was bothering me, and causing dreams.

About four am, I heard my friend talking to raccoons. They managed to drag a heavy toolbox out from under the table, the tarp, and the lawn chairs. They had one side open and were dragging out anything they could reach. We lost a few spoons.

By five am I was up and building a fire. I needed campfire coffee, the elixir of life. I reset the camp again. We were the only campers in this part of the park. It was quiet, just me and the birds. I live for peaceful moments in nature. A raccoon emerged from the woods briefly and then wandered back down the hill toward the lake.

As it became brighter, my friend emerged from her tent and we swapped stories from the night. As we went to retrieve supplies for breakfast, we noticed the paw prints all over the cars. Tiny prints covered the door handles and windows. The front door of her car was ajar. I hadn’t been dreaming. Someone was attempting to break into our cars. That someone just happened to be about three feet tall, with a striped tail, and wearing a mask. We were camping with a band of experienced thieves.

I was tired. It is a good thing we came with plenty of coffee to fortify for the hike, and hike we did. I was thankful we had comfortable hammocks to accommodate an afternoon nap. I just had to hope that I didn’t wake up with a raccoon on my chest trying to remove my wedding ring. I smiled as I imagined a raccoon overlord selling camping equipment out of a cave at the base of the hill. My nap was glorious as I gently swayed in the breeze.

It’s a good thing raccoons are so cute and an even better thing that wildlife are protected in state parks. Although if this happens again tomorrow night, all bets are off. I will be more careful and put all loose items in my vehicle. I won’t bother them and they better not bother me. Mamma doesn’t play and she is determined to get a good night’s sleep.