The last few weeks have been difficult; not because there is anything wrong in my life, only because I feel unsettled. Call it a physiological response or existential angst. Maybe it is the summer blahs. Perhaps it is living in what I like to call “the age of anxiety.“

It doesn’t really matter what it is. Its effects make it hard to relax. My brain scans for problems, and I seek solutions to imagined difficulties that haven’t happened and are unlikely to happen. I feel my muscles tighten and experience intestinal discomfort. I can recognize the signs of anxiety in my body. I spent a lot of years living on coffee and adrenaline. So the sensations are unfortunately familiar. What I don’t understand is why I am suddenly anxious?

Due to my profession, I know a lot about how the brain works. I understand the human need for autonomy, belonging, and competence. I train people on developing environmental conditions that support positive human development for both staff and humans. I work hard to cultivate those conditions in my own life. This does not make me immune to feelings of anxiety.

I have a loving family. I have a wonderful career, doing meaningful work. I have freedom to choose what I want to do each day. I am insulated, and blessed; yet I understand how fragile life can be. I often absorb the emotions and stressors of those I care about.

In our Information Age, not only are there daily reminders that life can be disastrous; individuals use events to create controversy and strife for economic and political gain. Incivility in some circles has reached new heights. Commercials are targeted specifically to me and remind me that I am aging, that I may not have enough money, that I may not be physically fit, and on it goes. Each encounter chipping away at my peace.

If so, I must recenter. I spend less time in front of screens. I spend more time talking to family. I garden and walk in nature. I visit with friends. I read books that inform and entertain. I mediate and pray.

It is said that the brain is four times more likely to remember negative experiences and emotions. Neuroscience also tells us that our brains are constantly rewiring itself and that instant technology is changing our brain waves. And so I wonder….what if my anxiety is less a function of my reality and more a function of my focus?

I remember that faith is a choice each day. I remind myself of God’s great love. That He is faithful. I cannot control any of the things that media and society would have me worry about. I will get older. My health will eventually fail. There may be a time when I don’t have enough money. But in this season, I …like Job, will return to my fortress. I will not take on the cares of the world unless I remember to carry them in prayer to the only one who can help. I will remain a prisoner of hope. In God alone I place my trust. I will dwell on “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, any excellence and anything worthy of praise.”

This may sound preachy (not my intent) and easy. It is not. This week it is a hard conscious choice each day. A mindful, deliberate choice. … because life is hard (even when it seems everything is going your way). But even on my worst day, God is good.