This winter has been sluggish. I always struggle in the grey, dark days to find meaning and purpose. I get up and read. Slowly going through the motions of the day, I long to be outside and for sunshine. It is hard to be motivated when hibernation seems the best option.

And so I dream. I bury myself in work, if work is available. I plan new materials for use in my training sessions. I clean and organize. I make blankets, puzzles, and food. I think I will write, but find I have nothing to say…at least nothing of substance.

To occupy my time, I make photo books of our travels. It is an exercise in restraint. I take hundreds of photos when we are on the road. I briefly wonder why I am not so interested in documenting my ordinary existence. I discard that line of thought and move on to dreaming of our next extraordinary step outside of our usual existence.

It starts with a crazy idea. A glimmer of a future adventure in a new environment. The timing is uncertain until one day the stars align and we purchase tickets or rent a house on distant shores. I can’t pinpoint when or how that day will come. It just seems to happen when the time is right.

The dates are set for what seems like a long way away in the future. The days crawl by for until the excitement of planning wears off. Then I forget about it for a while. The trip becomes almost imaginary.

I read as much as I can about local culture and opportunities. It is like I am opening a window into another world. We seek an authentic experience away from resorts and tours. We want to live locally and immerse ourselves in another way of life. (In as much as that is even possible. I know we are still American tourists, but we hope to tread respectfully do our best to show respect and appreciation for the community we land in.)

But, sometimes the doubts set in. Will it be wonderful or horrible? Can I adjust to the environment? Will people be friendly or hostile? Do I have what I need? Will I be able to handle whatever happens? I quickly realize this is just fear of the unknown. My mood and confidence altered by the endless gloom of winter.

I remind myself that I have successfully handled many situations before and that sometimes bumps in the road make the best travel stories. (Someday, I will write about the six hours we spent trying to do one load of laundry in Portugal or about the night I was stranded in a dark bathtub when the fuses blew in our ancient apartment building). I smile when I think of how much richer my life is because of the experiences so very different than my origins. Mark Twain said “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.” I believe that. And so I forge on.

So on this February day, I give thanks for the sunshine and bird song. Spring is just around the corner and so is another adventure. I don’t know exactly what will happen in the months to come. But I can say with certainty that I will push myself outside my comfort zone. We will seek new awakenings and will be richer for it.

The sun is shining. It is time to dream silly dreams and get out there.