Yesterday was my birthday. It was a day much like any other. I went to work and took care of the tasks that needed attention. But my husband bought beautiful flowers reminding me of his love. My son called multiple times to talk and let me know he loved me. I got dozens of texts and messages throughout the day. The small gestures in an otherwise normal day filled me with warmth.

I have simple goals in life. To love and be loved. To contribute more than I take from my community. To experience and know the world (largely through reading, study, and travel). And to remain, despite it all a person of integrity.

As I take stock of my year, it is hard to judge my progress. I have traveled. I have tried to contribute in both my personal and professional life. I have tried to remain true to my core values. But the world seems harder to navigate somehow. There is a lot of ugliness that seems unnecessary. I struggle with a world in which learning, core principles, and truth itself no longer seems to matter. I don’t know what to do with performative politics and the partisan weaponization of my religion.

As a student of history, I ponder comparisons. I recently read a scholar who claimed that Oliver Cromwell in The English Civil Wars way back in 1640 started an inverted snobbery. “I am a plain man, no nonsense about me. And no manners, grace, or generosity either”, said Cromwell. He wore his lack of learning and manners like a badge of honor. The author went on to say that in some parts of the (U.S.) states I understand it’s (an end of) a man’s political life to go to some constituencies with a tie and coat on. That’s being stuffed shirt. The ideal is to be one of the boys.”

Abraham Lincoln is a personal hero and he certainly retained the popular image of a simple “rail splitter”. However Lincoln was smart and exceptionally well read. He valued knowledge and personal integrity. Why is anti-intellectualism suddenly a virtue? Why is empathy suddenly scorned? Why is civility out of favor?

I choose those values anyway.

I sit here pondering the past year and I can’t help recalling a quote that I ran across in a book I was reading in our rental apartment in Oslo. (Scandinavians love books and the house had lots to choose from). Here is the quote: “It is an odd thing, but when you tell someone the true facts of a mythical tale they are indignant not with the teller but with you. They don’t want to have their ideas upset. It rouses some vague uneasiness in them, I think, and they resent it. So they reject it and refuse to think about it. If they were merely indifferent it would be natural and understandable. But it is much stronger than that….they are annoyed.”

As I reflect on my year, I realize that as I live my values I must speak out when civility, truth, or academic integrity is threatened. I must live the tenets of my Christian faith and uphold the constitutional principles that I value. My integrity demands it. But, in doing so I realize that many I hold dear may be challenged, or annoyed, or exhausted by my living of my core beliefs. It is easier to acquiesce, to look the other way or to comply in order to fit in. In fact someone recently advised me not to pay attention, stating that was how they got along. Alas, I cannot ignore the world around me.

I choose to live my values anyway.

On my birthday, I choose to love my ordinary life. I choose to pursue my life goals. I choose to live my values, even when they are difficult. I choose to treat others with dignity, empathy, and compassion. I will do so imperfectly, but I choose to learn from my mistakes and do better…..

“If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭12‬:‭18‬ ‭