I am going out on Safari! Our bus just arrived to take us to the bush country of Afri…… make that Arizona. Somewhere between Camp Verde and Cottonwood Arizona is the Out Of Africa Wildlife park. It is a crazy place.

A few minutes ago I stepped out of my car. Now I am boarding a bus and being handed bamboo shoots to hand feed giraffes out the windows of an old school bus. Only in America.

My husband lets the giraffe eat the bamboo as he holds it between his teeth. Yuck! Have you seen a giraffe tongue? It is not a pretty sight.

The zebras are clearly jealous and demand their treats of biscuits before they will clear the way for the bus. Water buffalo can’t be bothered to get up as the bus rolls by. The driver informs us that they are responsible for world production of mozzarella cheese. Who knew?

The watusi cattle chase us with their giant horns. They want whatever snacks are up for grabs. We clear the windows as they sneak ever closer to the bus.

We drive around in a large loop. The animals follow us. They know the driver has a secret stash of goodies. They also know how to beg. I don’t remember this happening in Africa. (Of course I do remember getting chased by a crazed ostrich…but that is a story for another day.) My point is that the animals here behave more like spoiled pets.

All too soon, the ride is over. We now have to walk the grounds. There are large hills. There are also colorful birds, reptiles, and monkeys. A lazy porcupine greets us from his box. We even met a skunk. She wanders around us like a puppy. Her scent sacs have been removed so she is carefree and playful. Someone raised her as a pet and then abandoned her. I can honestly say that cuddling a skunk was not on my bingo card for today. But since we are here.

Next we watch the staff exercise the big cats by letting them chase them in a large cage. It is billed as a show, but I find it mildly disturbing. College age kids run with toys on large sticks. The tigers attack the toys. The kids let go of the stick. A new kid runs out with a toy to distract the tiger every few minutes. The tiger lets go of the toy in order to go after the new plaything and the cycle repeats. Over a hundred people sit with me in this arena as we hope someone isn’t mauled.

After all that big cat action, I need to take it down a notch. Parrots and lorikeets will have to do. The warthogs are on high alert for their dinner. And I realize so am I. Somehow we have managed to play away the entire day. As we walk our way “out of Africa” we look for elusive big horn sheep. They are along the fence trying to figure out how to become part of the safari circuit. Word on the street…that is where people throw food at you….