This morning I get up very early and get my work done. I am still stuck in another time zone and an early riser, which is convenient when you try to work remotely from the far ends of the Earth and still have time for play.

Eventually, the number one son wakes up and tells me he wants to visit Shibuya to see the infamous Shibuya crossing and to do a little shopping. My husband and I are happy to tag along. (This is our son’s long promised college graduation trip….that he has postponed for almost a decade.) Whatever he decides is fine by us.

The bus and the trains are deceptively quiet today. We must be later than the normal rush. But as we surface near Shibuya crossing in the rain, I see thousands of people amassed and waiting to cross the road. Every direction crosses all at once at the scramble light. And it is truly a scramble. I pull my hat down tight and set off into the fray. It seems important to choose my direction and fix my sight on a landmark building or electronic billboard. I have to walk with purpose or risk getting swept up into the crowd.

I make it to the other side, but now the question is where to safely stop to find my fellow travelers that won’t cause a traffic jam or I risk losing them in the crowd. It is a good thing that my son is tall and gives off a Viking vibe. He is easy to spot. My husband is also within site. Whew!

My husband tells me he is a little disoriented. At home, he says he finds me by looking for my long dark hair. In this crowd of Japanese women with beautiful long dark hair, that distinction is not helpful. I tell him just to look for the chubby girl. He wisely does not reply.

We head indoors to escape the heavy rainfall. The first mall is entirely dedicated to the Japanese fashion trend called of Kawaii culture (cuteness). Everything is pastel colors, ruffles, lace, and exaggerated innocence combined with lingerie. I am told distinct styles include Sweet Lolita, Jirai Kei (landmine style), and Maid cosplay. I see school girl outfits, little Bo peep themes, and any variety of clothing I don’t understand as every day wear. And yet I am in a multi-story mall that sells nothing but kawaii couture ….. and I am surrounded by consumers who are spending hundreds on clothing to wear to work and school that makes them look like a cross between a French maid and a student at Hogwarts. Some things I am not meant to understand. You go girls. But this is not for me.

We visit electronics stores and upscale retail shops. In one mall we find a space that carries traditional items from each Japanese province. We even find a haute couture pop up in which a Japanese celebrity is having a photo shoot. I am not cool enough to know who he is, but the international paparazzi certainly do.

I decide that we need to find the corner where Hachiko, the loyal dog is immortalized. Hachiko went with his owner to Shibuya station every day and would return in his own to meet the train for his return. When his owner died. Hachiko would return to the station each day and wait until the last train left looking for his owner. This went on for years making him a national icon of loyalty. Today, hundreds crowd around his statue taking selfies.

Just a few blocks away, the cherry blossoms are in early full bloom. They are glorious! We take photos like the Sakura struck tourists that we are. A lovely local man takes our pictures and strikes up a conversation and we are having a great time until…..he asks where we are from. We tell him the U.S. He gives a look that someone might get if you said you had a terminal illness. He abruptly hands me back my camera, says good luck, and literally disappears. It is really sad and sobering to see how quickly the country has slipped in international public opinion.

We travel to make connections and increase understanding and yet this is our new reality. People don’t know what to do. Neither do we. My analysis is a lot like Shibuya crossing. I don’t control what gets the green lights. I can see the chaos. I feel like a small spec in the swirling motion and I just do the best I can to navigate myself correctly while being as considerate of others I can. And deep down, I know which lines I will not cross and which corners I am willing to go against the crowd to reach. And finally, I know when it is time to go home and rest.